The third practice on the Path. The final practice of the Lower Triangle.
The I Allow Practice trains equanimity: the capacity to stay present with what is happening without needing your partner or the moment to change. It completes the Lower Triangle of the Path.
The third practice on the Path. The final practice of the Lower Triangle.
Equanimity. The capacity to be fully present without needing the moment to change.
This is not acceptance as a concept. It is not tolerance. It is not spiritual bypass. Equanimity is an embodied capacity: you feel everything and you do not react. Your partner is angry, and you allow it. Your partner is crying, and you allow it. Your partner is radiating joy, and you allow it. Your body stays open. Your breath stays deep. Your eyes stay soft.
Equanimity overcomes the habit to classify, judge, criticize, blame, or need your partner to be different than they are.
The Lower Triangle builds the foundation for everything that follows:
You cannot create polarity (Middle Circle) if you cannot first see your partner clearly, feel them fully, and remain steady when things get uncomfortable. The I Allow Practice completes the hearth. Without it, the fire has nowhere safe to burn.
Partners sit facing each other in the starting position: eye contact, synchronized breath, open unguarded body.
One partner begins: "I allow..." followed by whatever is genuinely present. This might be:
The other partner receives. No response is needed. No number. No feedback. The practice is the allowing itself.
Partners switch after ten minutes. The receiving partner now practices allowing.
The I See Practice is about accurate perception. The I Feel Practice is about honest sensation. The I Allow Practice is about your relationship to what you perceive and feel. Can you let it be? Can you stay in your body, in contact with your partner, without needing anything to change?
This is harder than it sounds. Most of us spend our relationships trying to fix our partner's mood, manage their emotions, or preemptively soothe discomfort. The I Allow Practice trains the opposite: being fully present while needing nothing to be different.
When your partner is in a difficult emotional state and your instinct is to fix it. When you feel uncomfortable during intimacy and want to pull away. When desire arises and you feel the urge to act on it immediately rather than letting it build. When conflict is present and your body wants to contract or attack.
The I Allow Practice is not a substitute for communication or action. It is a foundation. You allow first. Then you respond from a place of steadiness rather than reactivity.
In the Couples Practice Evening "How to Make Love Through Anything", Justin and Londin guide partners through staying present and allowing what arises, even when the moment is uncomfortable, uncertain, or intense. This is equanimity practiced live, not discussed.
The I Allow Practice is taught in Playing With Fire: The Spiritual Path of Intimate Relationship and practiced live in the Yoga of Intimacy Patreon community.
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