Sacred Sexuality After Kids: How to Keep Desire Alive

Babies are pure Omega energy. All feeling, all expression, all need. And both parents polarize into Alpha to meet that energy: managing, protecting, providing, organizing. By the end of the day, you are two exhausted managers who have forgotten they are lovers.

Justin Patrick Pierce & Londin Angel Winters

Sacred intimacy teachers and authors of Playing With Fire: The Spiritual Path of Intimate Relationship and The Awakened Woman’s Guide to Everlasting Love. Together since 2010, they guide couples worldwide through the Yoga of Intimacy. Learn more about Justin’s work.

This is not a failure of your relationship. It is the physics of polarity. When both partners spend all day in the same energy (Alpha-Alpha), there is no charge between them. No pull. No magnetism. Just two good people too tired to want anything except sleep.

Justin Patrick Pierce and Londin Angel Winters wrote Playing With Fire while parenting an infant through a pandemic, four relocations, and a pregnancy. Their daughter Ava was born during the creation of the work. Every practice they teach has been tested in the reality of diapers, tantrums, and 6am wake-ups.

The Pilot Light

Justin made two commitments after Ava was born. First: he would not let Londin lose her light. He would consciously look at her as a lover, not just a co-parent. Those are two very different ways of seeing, and the difference is everything. Second: he would touch her like a lover five to ten times a day. Not sex. Ten seconds of intentional touch: a hand on the small of her back, his lips on her neck while she is making breakfast, and then move on. Keep the pilot light lit.

The Micro-Practice

Londin’s approach is equally simple. Whenever she turns to Justin during the day and says “I feel overwhelmed” (with breath, with her body open, with feeling moving through her), she is inviting intimacy. She is creating polarity in a ten-second exchange. He responds: “I see the best mom.” She receives it. Both breathe. Both return to the day. That is a practice. It does not require a babysitter, a weekend away, or an hour of uninterrupted time.

Including Everything

One of the most radical teachings in the Yoga of Intimacy is that you do not need to be happy, turned on, or emotionally clear to make love. Londin describes being penetrated by Justin while saying “I feel devastated, I am so tired”, and then feeling him push deeper and responding with a sound that surprised both of them. Her grief was not paused for sex. Her grief led the intimacy. Everything included. Nothing to get over first.

This is what the Path makes possible. When you have trained your capacity for awareness, sensitivity, and equanimity, no emotional state is an obstacle to connection. Not exhaustion. Not frustration. Not the fact that your toddler just threw eggs across the kitchen.

What Actually Helps

Stop waiting until the children are asleep, the house is clean, and you both feel good. That moment rarely arrives. Instead, practice in the cracks: the I See Practice over breakfast, the I Feel Practice during the car ride home, a single “I want...” whispered after the bedtime routine is done.

The practice does not require ideal conditions. It requires two people willing to see and feel each other, even when everything around them is chaos. For ongoing support, the Yoga of Intimacy Patreon community offers monthly couples practice evenings led by Justin and Londin.